Did I really just eat that?

This week's Theme Thursday topic is "Things I had in my mouth since becoming a parent."  Of course, the initial reaction is "GROSS!"  I've heard the stories about parents who's little baby boys had an open-diaper accident and drank a little pee.  I've heard the stories about parents holding baby aloft, looking up at their darling little faces cooing away, and ended up consuming some partially-digested milk.  Definitely gross.  You know my aversion to bodily fluids.  So, while enduring the raising of 3 kids, I have to seriously thank God that none of that nastiness has come my way.  Do I need to knock wood here?  I do still have 2 in diapers who refuse to puke in buckets when the stomach bug comes to visit.  [knock-knock]

My "things in the mouth" is more about my lack of appropriate number of hands needed to deal with kids.

This many hand would have been helpful
when the twins were born.

Even with my first child I was clued in enough to know I wanted the backpack version of the diaper bag.  (thank you consignment sale for the $12 gem I still have!)  But there was always that time when I had to make use of my mouth because the hands were full.  There were times when it was just your basic "storage unit" for credit card, keys, pacifier, lid to bottle, formula packet, and favorite toy.  Then there were the times it was just your basic "disposal system" for half-eaten cookies, gnawed on fruit, untried & refused new food items, and the cupcakes that were licked clean of their frosting.

But I think the worst thing that ever was in my mouth was my foot - (and you all know how I feel about feet) - and I didn't realize it until AFTER I became a parent.  How judgy I was of those other parents who let their kids disturb my meal with screams and tantrums (okay, I still judge because I refuse to take my kids out and ruin other people's dinner), and the parents who gave their kids candy to shut them up (I did this just yesterday!  I mean seriously, how many times can TWO 2 year olds scream "lollipop" at you when you have a migraine before you buckle under the pressure?), and the worst - the time I chastised my dear friend for bringing her toddler over to my house in his jammies.  I remember saying, "oh put that poor kid in some clothes!"

How stupid and foolish I was.  I remember thinking how much MORE I knew about parenting than she did because she was "just a new mom" and I was - what?  A know-it-all? Someone who was so smart I didn't even need to HAVE a kid to know what was best?  I mean, I read BOOKS and I paid ATTENTION to life.  Not that she didn't of course - I was just an ignorant fool with my foot in my mouth.

I still think of that day, as I watch my twins run around in their jammies well into nap time - and they are almost old enough to be in preschool.  I started letting my oldest sleep in her clothes for the next day when she was 2 because it was easier to dress her at night than at 5:30 am when she was getting up and I was getting ready for work.

So, SO many things I do now to cut corners and save time, and it's not hurting anyone, and there is nothing wrong with it, and I am SURE I would be pissed if someone were to try and question my judgement here.  But she was SO gracious at the time - or beat down by postpartum and I should have known better than to chastise her for anything - she simply said, "I know I should, poor thing, he's hardly ever out of jammies.  But it's just so much EASIER this way" and she smiled at me and we had a nice visit.  She had put her kid in the car and driven almost an hour to come to my house and visit.  And I had NO idea at the time what an effort that could be.

Of ALL the things I regret so far about being a parent, it's that pre-parenting foot-in-mouth syndrome.

Click the logo below to read what other parents have had in their mouths.